Stop Being Miserable: 7 Negative Mindsets That Are Stealing Your Joy
I awaken to a twisted knot of sheets, and it’s clear I’ve been wrestling all night long. No part of me wants to get out of this bed and step into my life today. I want to stop being miserable in this season, but I have no worldly clue of what to do about it.
Most of us have been here.
You wake up to the buzzing alarm, and you have absolutely no desire to return to the same old job in the same tiny cubicle to perform the same fifty tasks in an endless cycle.
Or maybe the baby cries two hours before daybreak. You just can’t see starting another day with the walls inching closer every hour.
I can’t put my finger on why I feel miserable this winter morning. Maybe it’s the monotony of long, gray days. Perhaps it’s my own negative mindset making me miserable.
7 Mindsets to Break if You Want to Stop Being Miserable
My mindset makes me miserable when all I can think about is my needs, my desires, and where others are not reaching out to invest in my life.
I might not realize my focus is making me miserable, but it will lead me to the murky waters of self-pity before I recognize my slow descent.
Friend, I hope you’re living in a life-giving season. I hope you feel like you’re living an abundant life. But if you’re not, take a few minutes to read through the following seven statements.
Ask the Lord to speak to you.
Have you spoken any of these comments to yourself recently? The following seven negative mindsets are prone to lead to miserable days:
Stop being Miserable by No Longer Seeking the Praise of Others:
1. “I do so much for everyone else, and no one does anything for me.”
Do you feel like you do most of the work in some area of your life? Does it feel like you give your all and no one else pitches in?
Focus on all you give and how little you receive, and you will be miserable. Maybe it’s time to assess the motivation behind your giving. Are you really serving the Lord with a selfless heart? Or are you secretly serving the kingdom of self?
I know these aren’t easy words to sit with, but they are important words. Take some time to ask the Lord to show you if you are struggling with this mindset in any area of your life.
2. “Why does no one ever say thank you?”
Scripture reminds us that those who receive the applause of man have received their reward in full.
If you’re annoyed that no one thanks you, maybe it’s time to remind yourself that your lasting reward is not on earth but in heaven.
Change the Way You See Your Troubles:
3. “I will never get over this.”
Words are powerful. Tell yourself that you will never heal, never find victory, or never overcome, and you just might never get over it. Scripture paints a very different story, a story in which we can overcome absolutely anything through the power of Christ in us.
Want to stop being miserable?
Dig into the truth about the freedom you already have in Christ. His arm is not too short to save you. He can help you heal from even the deepest loss and the most life-shaking trauma.
4. “God is punishing me.”
God allows natural consequences to unfold (he disciplines those he loves) but he does not punish us.
Jesus endured every ounce of God’s wrath for our sins, past and present, when he died on the cross.
God is not punishing you because he already punished Jesus instead. He will lovingly discipline you to help you step into the best life you can live, but he will not condemn you or punish you.
Stop Being Miserable by Looking for What You Can Give and Not What You Can Receive
5. “I’m not getting anything out of this.”
In a consumer-driven society, we’re prone to speak these words about everything from the Bible studies we join to the church services we attend.
In truth, the Holy Spirit can speak through any message at any time. Instead of looking for what you can “get out of it,” maybe it’s time to look for what you might be able to give.
6. “No one makes me feel included.”
Instead of searching for someone else to make you feel included, shift your perspective and look for someone on the outskirts, someone you could reach out to and include. (For more ideas on how to get over your fears about fitting in and, instead, find someone to love, join me here.)
7. “No one cares about my needs.”
Focus on your needs, and you will be blinded to the needs of others.
Instead of worrying about why no one is looking out for you, look for someone else to love and help. Sometimes the best way to fill your heart is to step into someone else’s need and meet them in that place.
Focus on your needs, and you will be blinded to the needs of others. Instead of worrying about why no one is looking out for you, look for someone else to love and help. #berefreshed #lovingothers Share on X
Stop being Miserable by Looking for the Gifts
I climb from the tangled sheets as the winter sunlight slips through the blinds.
Slipping downstairs, I listen for the patter of tiny footsteps as I sit by the window.
Something inside me shifts. I decide not to take those little footsteps for granted, and my little boy sits with me by the window as we watch cardinals dance on the deck. The grind of another long day still feels like work, but instead of miserable work, it feels just a little like grace.
A Free Devotional Book for You
Lastly, I have a gift for you today. Hope for Hard Days is my free 10-day online devotional to help you hold onto hope when life is tough. You will find 10 readings to help you connect with God and claim his peace. Click here and I’ll send it to your email inbox today for free with promo code HOPE.
Calling all moms and daughters—and parents of boys!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 6, 11, and 14, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or grandparents to read with the children they care about.
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength is for boys ages 5-13. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to courageously carry God’s love into the world. Written with input from our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven, this book will help the boys you care about find courage and strength in God. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
Devotionals for Girls
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
All three books are available in print and eBook form here on Amazon. They are also free on the Kindle Unlimited plan, which you can enjoy with a free three-month trial! These books make great gifts, and you don’t need to be the parent of young children to read them. Share them with your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or the young ones you love.
Learn Why Willpower Doesn’t Work and Experience God’s Deliverance and Healing
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. Lean Into Grace: Let God’s Grace Heal Your Heart, Refresh Your Soul, and Set You Free shares practical ways to experience God’s freedom, healing, power, and presence in your life. Find this life-changing book as a free eBook on Kindle Unlimited or for 12.99 in print right here. (If you do not have Kindle Unlimited, you can try it out with a free three-month trial!) This book will transform your life and revitalize your relationship with the Lord!
