A Refiner’s Fire Story and a Prayer for the Fires of Life
The snow outside was knee-deep when I counted the days and realized I hadn’t left the house in 28 days. I was living out my own version of the refiner’s fire story. The refining fire was burning away the dross in my life, and it hurt.
I’ll share my story from the fire shortly.
First, let’s visit the refiner’s fire story as we consider the various fires we face. Be sure to read to the end of today’s post for a free devotional eBook to help you encounter God as you endure life’s fires.
The Refiner’s Fire Story
The refiner’s fire story shares the story of a group of women who were studying the book of Malachi. They came upon Malachi 3:3, which reads, “He will be like a refiner and purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver. Then they will present offerings to the Lord in righteousness.”
One of the women wanted to learn more about this metaphor and went to visit a silversmith.
She watched him put the metal into the hottest part of the fire, where the impurities were removed from the metal so that the silver would come forth unblemished.
The silversmith explained that he had to hold the metal carefully, never taking his eyes off it.
“How do you know when it’s ready?” the woman asked.
“When I can see my image in it,” the man replied.
The Refiner’s Fire Story and Our Trials
We’ll return to this story shortly. First, I invite you to join me in the middle of my refining fire, and I’ll share the prayer God led me to pray as the flames did their work in my heart.
The illness was so severe that I’d quit writing, exercising, connecting with friends, and even grocery shopping. I resigned myself to long days spent lying flat on my back.
The walls were closing in as the darkness fell earlier and earlier. The only cheer came from the rainbow of lights strung over the pine tree in the corner of the room. As the days wore on, I wrestled with God over the timing of my illness.
Some people say we shouldn’t ask God why refining fires come into our lives.
When I couldn’t take it any longer, I finally had a long talk with God about why he permitted my illness. I was desperate to see a glimpse of God’s purpose that might help me endure.
Very few journeys are harder than walking through the refining fire with no sense of purpose for the suffering.
Very few journeys are harder than walking through the refining fire with no sense of purpose for the suffering. #suffering #refiningfire #trials #encounteringGod Share on X
God’s Purpose for the Refining Fires
I don’t know where you’re facing the fire today. But I’m guessing you know a thing or two about the flames.
Your fire might be a debilitating illness or a ruined relationship that threatens to derail your whole life. Maybe you’re facing an uncertain future, a financial emergency, or a lingering fear. Maybe you’re under a cloud of discouragement that just won’t lift.
You might be asking God why and coming up short.
Ask me how I know.
One snowy December night, alone in my bed at 7 p.m., I asked God why.
My family giggled and made memories downstairs, and I was tired of the suffering. I was tired of feeling left out and overlooked by God.
I whispered my why to the darkness, and the room remained silent. No thundering voice from above. No still small voice with the winter wind. Just silence.
A Different Question to Ask in the Fire
I rolled over to find sleep, disgusted by the silence, when a thought floated through my mind. It was a nudge to ask a different question, a deeper question. The question was not why; it was how . . .
This new question changed everything about the way I saw my struggle.
Instead of pleading with God and asking why he permitted my pain, my new question opened my spiritual eyes.
I whispered my new prayer in the darkness, “Father, how are you using this trial to answer my deepest prayers?”
And then I remembered.
I remembered the issues I’d been praying about throughout the past year.
The Refining Fire Is Often the Answer to Your Deepest Prayers
I’d been praying for God to teach me to exchange control for surrender. I was praying to stop rushing through my life. I was praying I’d learn to appreciate my children, savor small moments, and notice sunrises and robins and simple joys.
There in the darkness, I realized God was using my illness to directly answer my prayers.
I couldn’t rush or hurry. I was forced to lie still, smile at the nuances of my kids, and give thanks for simple joys like Christmas lights, the scent of pine, and woodpeckers pounding against the bird feeder outside.
God was using my refining fire to answer my prayers.
What Is God Doing in Your Refining Fire?
How often do we rush through the refining fire and miss the lessons meant to be gleaned?
Your refining fire most likely looks different than mine.
Will you pause to ask how God might be using it to answer your prayers?
This frightening diagnosis might be his tool to help you overcome fear and worry.
This disappointment might be his tool to teach you what it means to hope in him alone.
Your broken relationship might be his way of leading you to surrender control. It might be teaching you unconditional love. It might be chiseling away some hard part of your heart that’s been keeping you in chains for years.
Will you sit with God today and ask him to show you how he is using the refining fire to answer your prayers? 
The refining fire of illness eventually began to improve in my life.
I am well again.
I am also different than I was before the illness.
The refining fire has done its work.
I wouldn’t volunteer to walk through it again. Yet I am emerging just a little softer, a little deeper, a little more like the woman I’ve been praying to become.
Back to the Refiner’s Fire Story
Let’s return to the refiner’s fire story. Here, we see several principles about God’s character and his position as we endure life’s fires.
First, he never takes his eye off us.
Second, he remains near.
Third, he allows us to remain in the fire until we come forth looking more like his image.
No matter what your refiner’s fire story looks like, God has not taken his eye off you. He is near. He is using this fire to purify you, and he will pull you from the fire when the time is right. When the fire has done its work, you will emerge looking more like him.
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If this refiner’s fire story and reflections encouraged you, I invite you to explore our family devotionals and library of free devotionals and eBooks below. May you trust that the Refiner has not taken his eye off you.
Calling All Parents and Grandparents!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 7, 12, and 16, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or older relatives to read with the children and teens they love. I also recently released a teen devotional called Anchored, designed to help teens learn key biblical narratives and apply them to their lives. You can find these books here or read more below. 
Mother-Daughter Devotionals by a Mom and Daughter
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
Devotions for Boys by Boys
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength helps young boys, ages 5-13, learn what it means to trust God and become strong warriors for his kingdom. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to boldly carry God’s love into the world. I wrote this boys’ devotional book with our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven! You’ll enjoy their honesty as we teach boys how to be strong warriors for the Lord. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
These Books Are Free on Kindle Unlimited: God Wants to Heal, Restore, and Refresh You
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. He also wants to help you establish a rhythm of meeting with him daily as you trust him with the hard parts of your life. Click here to explore two books that will guide you: Be Still and Trust and Lean Into Grace. They are free on the Kindle Unlimited program and for sale in print.
Download Your Free Devotional Here
Set Free: Let God Do What You Cannot explores ten realms in which most of us need God to work in our lives and bring deliverance. We’ll talk about finding freedom from fear, worry, insecurity, bad habits, emotional pain, and more. This short online devotional will bless you as you let God accomplish what you’ve been unable to achieve through willpower. Get your download for free with promo code GRACE or for a donation of 3.99 here. Thank you. This small gift helps keep this ministry running.
I also offer a library of free online devotional eBooks for free. I invite you to explore the collection right here!
