When Silence and Solitude Don’t Come Easily
A strong west wind rips across the yard, and the last of the lavender aster petals are finally swept away. I sit by the window, searching for silence and solitude, and the churning of this autumn cold front mirrors the chaos in my mind.
I am an introvert, and I find silence and solitude refreshing most of the time; however, this doesn’t mean quieting my soul always comes easily.
When Silence and Solitude Are Difficult
I am also a do-er, a list-maker, and, sadly, a perfectionist.
I used to think perfectionism was a trait to be admired, but time and experience are teaching me that the pursuit of perfection generally leads a woman to feel like she can never clean enough, pray enough, do enough, and be enough.
These thoughts pass through my wandering mind as I attempt to slow down and connect with the heart of God by the window. Mostly, I connect with my grocery list, weekly menu, and freelance writing schedule.
If you have seriously pursued the disciplines of silence and solitude, I imagine you can relate.
You show up to rest in God’s presence, connect with his heart, listen for his whisper, and find room for your soul to breathe. Instead of finding these gifts, you find that you cannot stop the hamster wheel in your mind.
This is where I challenge us all to pause.
Our racing minds are not our enemies.
On the surface, our racing minds are indicative of hurried, busy, over-booked lives. We might even feel guilty that we struggle to enter into silence and solitude or that we can’t seem to let go of our lists and our plans to fix the world (or at least our own little corners of the world).
What if we didn’t let ourselves embrace guilt over our racing minds, and instead, let God shine his love upon our streaming torrents of scattered thoughts? #seekingGod #quiettime #prayer Share on XHow to Connect With God in Your Quiet Time
I ask myself this question by the window, and it is as if a veil has been lifted. God gently reminds me of his purpose for our time together. He also reminds me of how to connect with him even when my mind is racing. I invite you to consider the points below and be sure to read to the end of today’s post for a free devotional eBook to help you connect with God.
1. Embrace God’s power in your weakness.
My tendency to pursue perfection extends into the spiritual disciplines I practice, including silence and solitude. I want to show up in my quiet spot and “get it right.” I have a deep desire to be a pro at this discipline, and that means I’m prone to be frustrated when my scattered thoughts hinder me from silence in my mind.
As I watch poplar leaves rip across the deck, I am suddenly aware of a new invitation: Allow your scattered thoughts to help you embrace the imperfect nature of your humanity.
My friend, you don’t need to practice silence and solitude perfectly; you simply need to show up.
God isn’t asking you to be perfect. Show up and let your mind wander. Consider every wandering thought another opportunity to return your gaze to God all over again.
Fifty distracted thoughts in five minutes of silence and solitude can lead you to 50 tender glances in Jesus’ direction. When this happens, Christ’s power will be made perfect in your weakness. He isn’t angry with you.
2. Let your wandering thoughts point to your deeper needs.
God is not giving out gold stickers for those who are able to still their racing minds. Offer yourself the same grace God extends to you. Simply allow your racing thoughts to point to the reality that some subtle shifts might be necessary in your life.
Don’t chastise yourself for your inability to settle. Let that inability lead you toward the change God wants to make in your life as a result of your time in silence and solitude. Perhaps he has called you to this very place so that you will see your deep need.
Your end goal is not practicing silence and solitude perfectly; your end goal is encountering the heart of your Father in heaven. Let your racing mind be the arrow that points to the truth he wants to reveal to you.
3. Let silence and solitude help you release control.
I like to be in charge of my agenda. I enjoy planning my days and watching for measurable outcomes that flow from my plans. Feeling like I am productive is very satisfying for me.
Silence and solitude challenge me to step outside these preferences, as I allow God to be in control. I show up at my quiet spot, and my role is to be still, not to accomplish something spiritually. In this posture, God often meets me in unexpected ways.
He sometimes brings a verse to mind. Other times, there is a gentle wave of conviction over a misspoken word, attitude, or action. Many days, nothing particularly noteworthy happens; I simply show up, aim to calm my racing mind, and let God be God.
The words of Psalm 46:10 often ring out in these times: “Be still and know that I am God.”
For years, I focused on the first part of this verse. I studied it. I learned that being still mimics a posture of loose arms hanging down, a cessation from striving.
Last summer the last four words of the verse caught my attention in a new way: “that I am God.” In silence and solitude, I show up and let God be God. I give him control. I let him come up with the agenda for our time together.
Sometimes, through my racing thoughts, he reminds me that I don’t have to practice silence and solitude perfectly to glean something from it. Other times, he brings rest. Often, I simply walk away knowing he is pleased I made the effort to meet with him. (For a post on how to encounter God in life-giving ways, join me here.)
Calling All Parents and Grandparents!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 6, 11, and 15, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or older relatives to read with the children and teens they love. You can find all three books here or read more below.
A Devotional for Boys
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength helps young boys, ages 5-13, learn what it means to trust God and become strong warriors for his kingdom. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to boldly carry God’s love into the world. I wrote this boys’ devotional book with our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven! You’ll enjoy their honesty as we teach boys how to be strong warriors for the Lord. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
Mother-Daughter Devotionals by a Mom and Daughter
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
Find Our Family Devotionals Here
Find all three books right here. They are also free on the Kindle Unlimited plan, which you can enjoy with a free three-month trial! These books make great gifts, and you don’t need to be the parent of young children to read them. Share them with your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or the young ones you love.
Learn Why Willpower Doesn’t Work and Experience God’s Deliverance and Healing
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. Lean Into Grace: Let God’s Grace Heal Your Heart, Refresh Your Soul, and Set You Free shares practical ways to experience God’s freedom, healing, power, and presence in your life. Find this life-changing book as a free eBook on Kindle Unlimited or for 12.99 in print right here. (If you do not have Kindle Unlimited, you can try it out with a free three-month trial!) This book will transform your life and revitalize your relationship with the Lord!
A Free Devotional to Help You Connect With God
God is a good Father, and he wants us to experience his healing, deliverance, and replenishment. Most of us have learned that we cannot heal, deliver, or refresh ourselves; we need God to do this work within us. I invite you to create space for God to transform your life by downloading a free copy of my devotional eBook, The Lean Into Grace Devotional: An 8-Day Devotional for Healing, Deliverance, and Replenishment. Find it for free here. 
